capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
