He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
