ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
