he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
