Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
not ubering you a puppy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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