my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
