That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
