two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
