what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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