it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
