remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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