I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
