1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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