so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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