Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
