btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
