If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Randomize
