his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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