I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I look better un-naked...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
