if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
