he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
