just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
