I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
