you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
