Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
