and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
