Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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