So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
