Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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