Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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