And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
