apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
