absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
