you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
