Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
