Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
