Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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