yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
