love makes seman taste better
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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