peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
