He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
