You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just threw up on my dentist
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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