how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
