My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
