I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
