How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And the cops told us we were all naked.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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