Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
