I wish I could punch you in the face.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
