i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
