dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
